


A Letter to Sherlock

by just_sherlock_and_john



Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock - Fandom, Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: M/M, Post-Reichenbach, Reichenbach Feels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-28
Updated: 2017-11-28
Packaged: 2019-02-08 01:29:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 561
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12853791
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/just_sherlock_and_john/pseuds/just_sherlock_and_john
Summary: John is trying to cope with the death of his best friend Sherlock.





	A Letter to Sherlock

Sherlock,

I know it is silly to write to a dead man and I realise that. If you were here right now you would tell me it is a waste of my time. But you're not here and my psychologist whom I had to hire thanks to you says it will help me through the "proper mourning process". Everyone is worried about me. I've stopped eating except what's necessary, I can't sleep, and for days on end I can't even get myself out of bed. They just don't understand that I can never be whole again, not without you at my side. I walked into our flat that first day despite the fact that I barely knew you because I had already trusted you. Hell Sherlock, the first night I met you I killed a man because I thought you were in danger.  


No matter what you told me that day you jumped, or what anyone in this damn world tells me now, I will believe in you until the day I die. Sherlock, if there was ever a man anywhere close to being God himself it was you. You were completely brilliant. And more human than you gave yourself credit for. You once told me you weren't a hero, but you were wrong. You were and ARE my hero. To this day, even though it's been a year since I've seen your mischievous smile or heard your annoying violin at the most ungodly hour; I still believe in you. Every night I wake up from the same nightmare, only to be confronted with the hellish truth. When I stumble into your room and see the bed left unmade and your clothes strewn across the floor covered in dust I remember you are gone. Most nights I just collapse onto your bed and try to pretend you are there with me. Your sheets no longer carry your scent but I still feel closer to you. Mrs. Hudson has tried to clean up your lab stuff from the kitchen but I yelled at her to leave it because you would have a fit when you came home. As soon as I said it, I realised how untrue that is. You aren't coming back home. I can never have you back and I can never thank you.  


I wish I could have had the chance to thank you for giving me something to live for. Even when the whole world had given up on another failed army doctor struggling with PTSD, you believed in me. Even when I gave up on myself, you saw through my damaged past and knew I had potential. You were the beacon in the dark that saved me from a life of loneliness. If I ever learned anything from you Sherlock, anything at all...it was to never give up hope. Through all of the crimes you solved. No. WE solved. Not once did you give in when it seemed difficult. The only thing I can do for you now is to never stop believing. You once believed in me, and I will never give up on you. Not you. Not my best friend in the world. Not my only friend. Sherlock, just one more thing, one more miracle. Sherlock, for me, don't be dead. Would you do that just for me? Just stop it. Stop this.

-JW


End file.
